If you follow this blog then you might have gathered that I’m a fan of Debby’s writing. When I spotted this new release I had to grab it right away.
The book is very accurately described in the long title: It is a reflection on one specific relationship that lasted over 20 years with many challenges, which mostly stem from an age gap and health issues. This book touched me especially since I recently got married and – like the author – live with a long – term partner with many health issues.
What Kaye does with bravour is opening up about the problems encountered and how she and her partner have mastered them. Sensitive, humorous and with plenty of heart-felt love for her partner the book addresses important specific and genweral relationship issues.
I think many of us can learn from Debby, admire her choices and identify with the moments where she admittedly struggled.
Getting her partner back to work, standing by him during cancer treatment and the effects of his illness, planning their life together as couple from the “I DO” until the “R.I.P.”
Above all this, the book is a wonderful homage to her husband, a love story, triumph of love over obstacles and a lovely anniversary gift to her husband.
Having read many of Kaye’s other books I’m pleased I found this memoir that uncovered some unknown or lesser known aspects of her life as writer and wife.
I’m sure this will find a large audience as the relationship advice given is relevant for other couples, too.
Thanks for sharing these wonderful reflections and insights.
This book is live now on Amazon! Get it HERE
In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.
Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other.
“Twenty Years: After “I Do” shows not only newly married couples but also those in the middle of their lives how to navigate companionship challenges and show love and kindness to their partners, handling life together gracefully and in harmony.
Multibook self-help author D.G. Kaye demonstrates, using examples from her own marriage, how to really commit to a relationship—till death do us part.” – Doris-Maria Heilmann, 111 Publishing
From DG Kaye:
Writing this book was a true labor of love. The book stemmed from little things that popped into my head last year when my husband took ill. I was riding a roller coaster of emotions for much of the year with my husband’s health, and it got me thinking about how much had really changed through the years as his aging was happening well ahead of mine.
Okay, I’m not saying I haven’t aged, because that would be an outright lie. I have many new grey hairs that found their way into my red hair and sometimes I question the face in the mirror. But what I mean is that my husband happens to be two decades older than me, and when we first got married I let that factor slide because there were so many good reasons to get married. But it’s a learning curve when you have a ringside seat watching your spouse go through situations that become a bit more difficult as the body ages and sickness sometimes takes its toll.
It was an actual statement that my husband made one day that lit up my brain with the book idea. He made a statement – “We’ve been together twenty years.” When you read the book you will understand why that statement spurred the title of the book. And from there, well, it got me thinking about some of the day-to-day activities we do that tend to get altered as one ages, as well as some of things about the future we don’t normally tend to think about when we’re younger, but become things we have to think about and deal with.
The basic formula that I can share to keep the engines of a marriage running smoothly is to always remember compassion and kindness, listen with your heart, talk about your feelings, be a supportive partner, and don’t forget to include laughter in your life everyday!
Here’s a short excerpt from the chapter “Taking the Plunge and Commitment” to give you a feel for what you can expect to read in this book:
If I commit to something, I’m in it for life. “Till death do us part” is a simple phrase often not analyzed to its fullest extent as we bask in bliss, about to commit to our chosen life partner and join in holy matrimony. After all, who wants to think about possible frightening future scenarios on what’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives?
In that euphoric moment, while dreaming of a wonderful future together, we feel confident we can conquer any and everything. We feel invincible while shrouded with love as we stand before our friends and family, promising our beloved to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and health, often without taking in the truest depths of the words. We tend to discount the idea of sickness as a situation that will never happen to us—but often, it does.
Since moving away from home as a late teen, I’d had many suitors and a few marriage proposals through the years, but I had enjoyed my wings of freedom and had no desire to marry. Then I met Gordon, a man like no other I’d known. He was divorced and living it up, content to remain a bachelor. That was until he met me. On our third date, Gordon smiled at me, his sky-blue eyes twinkling with adoration as he embraced me in a warm cuddle, and announced that he was going to marry me one day. I had long resolved to never marry, but truth be told, I too by that third date had an uncanny feeling that I just might marry that man.
I laughed out loud, kissed his sweet cheek, and replied, “That will never happen.” But it did. Our dating life left me more than enough material to write another book, but suffice to say, by the following year’s end, we were living together, and within the following year, I was planning our wedding. I took the plunge after weighing all the fears I had about what the future might hold as older age set in against how much I loved and felt loved by this man. I couldn’t deny the fact that I had found my soulmate.
If you enjoy reading books about relationships, aging and wisdom, what changes in a marriage and look into how I’ve worked out my own formula for maintaining a healthy and loving relationship, then this book may just be for you!
***For those of you interested in purchasing a copy of the paperback, nightmares abound with Createspace and their previewing tool (as I found out quite a few authors have encountered this lately). So unfortunately because I couldn’t preview the download I await a proof copy in snail mail from the US before I hit publish, so I’ll keep you up to date!